8 weeks

Krew's Measurements:
Head circumference: 41 cm (at birth, 34 cm)
Length: 59 cm (at birth, 53 cm)
Weight: 11 lbs 14 oz (at 4 weeks, 9 lbs 12 oz; at birth, 8 lbs 5 oz)

As you can see, he's been growing. A LOT. His eyes most definitely track moving objects now, though sometimes it seems laggy, and his most favourite object to stare at (besides me) are bright lights, either natural or artificial.

Krew dropped the midnight feeding a couple weeks ago and just recently dropped the 3 a.m. feeding as well. So this means that he lets me sleep until 4:30 or 5 a.m.! It's amazing how wide awake I feel when I go in to feed him. He also will sleep again after that feeding and wake up again around 7:30, but then wants to be up at that point. I hope this amazing change stays. It really messes with my system to wake up between 2 and 4 a.m. and then I just end up super cranky.

Krew also rolled over for the first/only time last week! I'm pretty sure it was accidental, but he did it in the little office cradle we have. Unfortunately, we both missed it, but Kevin did catch the movement out of the corner of his eye. The video below shows him attempting it (immediately after rolling over) but then he started to get frustrated.

In this next video you can see him smiling, as well as see how he focuses when he hears music.

The other day he was being super fussy, which was incredibly stressful for both me and him. He wouldn't eat more than an ounce at a time and then would screech horribly when I would try to feed him more. He finally settled down in the late afternoon and I was then able to feed him a full bottle. Just yesterday I noticed he did it again, but with a specific bottle. I poured his milk into a different bottle (one that I knew he liked) and he finished it. That means his issues were with his bottle and not him. While I'm happy that it's an issue that is fixable, I feel like a jerk for not catching on earlier since the bottle that Krew had finished was a different style from the ones he wouldn't drink out of.

When I was in the doctor's office, I asked her about my legs since they are still incredibly swollen, but also had developed rash-like markings near my ankles. She said they were broken blood vessels and that a woman's body is supposed to go back to normal after having a baby, not develop issues like swollen feet/ankles/legs. She said that I have good circulation in my feet, but I'm going to be getting some blood work done to rule out potential issues, with my thyroid for example. In the mean time I've (finally!) picked up some compression socks that should help keep the discomfort of the swelling to a minimum.

Good times.

7 weeks

Krew is growing so fast! At his 4 week appointment, he weighed in at 9 lbs 12 oz (up from his 8 lbs 5 oz birth weight). He has maxed out the length of his 3 month old sleepers and the shoulders have started to pull when he straightens his legs out. To give you an idea of how long he is, when he's standing up straight I can't put him against my chest or he'll bump the underside of my chin. His feet are the same size as the feet in the sleepers too. There is still some room in the tummy area, but I imagine that'll follow soon now that he has a double chin!

He is definitely smiling now and he also has a grin that lights up his face. He has learned to scrunch his eyes when he grins too and he always greets me with that particular grin in the mornings when I feed him. He has found his voice too (and not just to demand service). He sqwawks when he wants us to talk to him, and it is more of an "ah" noise that, because it rises in inflection at the end, sounds like he's asking a question.

Smiles

Grin

 He has started grasping voluntarily now (and not just when you put your finger in his hand), but I keep forgetting to tie back my hair. Luckily he hasn't started pulling yet. He hasn't quite figured out that his hands are attached to his arms so he gets angry when his own arm shoves his soother/bottle out of his mouth. He also has sharp baby nails that Kevin has dubbed "kitten claws." My description is a little more accurate: vampire claws. Those things hurt and Krew currently has a few scratches on his face from them.

He isn't a fan of tummy time and I can't really blame him since I think he's doing it the hard way. When he's on his belly he leans to one side so the opposite leg is lifted. If he didn't lean he would have the balance from both legs and both arms.

He definitely likes music. Whether it's the lame ABC sounds coming from his lounge rocker or actual songs, he stops to listen (at least briefly). He's started to actually focus on objects, instead of just staring off in the distance. He's a total moth too, lol. He loves to stare at light and will actually turn his head to follow it. So maybe he's more of a sunflower.

Speaking of his head...it's totally flatter on his right side behind his ear. It's his favourite side to sleep on and he's gotten used to it so now we have to train him to use both sides equally or he'll have an awkward shaped head when he's older. When he's in his lounge chair we place a folded receiving blanket behind his right shoulder to prevent him from sleeping on his right side. So far it seems to work, but when he's upset it just makes him even angrier.

Which brings me to his personality. Krew can be very mercurial when it comes to his emotions. Like I mentioned earlier, he gets upset easily, but he can calm down quite fast if you fix the problem sooner rather than later. The longer he's upset, the harder it is to calm him down, it's as simple as that. He also doesn't like to nap in a separate room, so he'll usually fall asleep in his lounge chair. Luckily he's still okay with his crib at night.

Blue Eyes

Fascinated with himself

Krew has beautiful blue eyes; they're dark with a lighter middle. I hope he keeps that shade, especially since they are similar in colour to Kevin's. He does, however, have MY hair colour! And yes, I'm totally smug about it! It's hard to photograph, but his hair is starting to come in blonde. His hair also looks like a dark auburn in darker light, and if you get it under direct sunlight, it looks golden. My hair colour is one of the few things I wanted to pass on, so I really hope he keeps it! (You can sort of see his hair colour in the above picture.)

3 Weeks

I started writing new posts at least twice, but my motivation quickly fizzled on both, so they've been abandoned. There's really not a lot to say either, but here are my answers for the questions that I've heard from several people.

Yes, he's a good sleeper (for now), and yes, I've been sleeping well (for the most part). "Sleeping well" and "newborn" don't really belong in the same sentence, but Kevin's been a huge help on the weekends, so that's when I'm able to get a few extra hours of sleep. During the week I head back to bed after feeding him; and I keep going back to bed until I'm feeling somewhat rested. At the moment he's going through a growth spurt, so he's eating like mad but waking up every 1.5 to 2 hours to eat. Meaning? I haven't been sleeping as well as I'd like. Luckily it's the long weekend, so Kevin is able to take over for me tomorrow morning so I can score a few more hours.

I've been really fortunate to have the energy to go back to dance so quickly. This past Tuesday I re-joined my jazz class, and I also plan to sign up for hip hop again (same day). That means that I'll be out of the house for around 3 hours, which is great for me (personally/emotionally/socially), but it also means that Kevin and Krew will be able to bond without me there (super important).

I'm learning the difference between when Krew is fussy and when he's hungry; I'm starting to get it right more regularly, but his screeching usually lets me know when I've got it wrong.

He's starting to smile. I know that at this point it's more gas-related than anything else, but I'll take what I can get.

His eyes, at this stage, are most definitely blue. A very deep blue that reminds me of Kevin's eyes. As much as I would have liked (preferred) green, I'm ok with him having his daddy's eyes. His hair, however, is more reminiscent of my colour. It's a very deep brown that has a reddish tinge when seen in direct sunlight; in fact, if I could have ever dyed my hair red, that's the shade I would have chosen.

Personality-wise at this point, he's pretty chill. He only gets fussy if he wants to eat or be changed. He likes to be held at night and will have a fit if he's put down before he's ready. He doesn't demand to be held into the wee hours of the morning, so I don't mind this is nightly ritual. Usually he just gets plunked down onto someone's chest while they're on the computer, so it isn't a hardship to cuddle.

The cats are still wary of him but have started getting closer. Link will howl right along with Krew when Krew is displeased (so. much. fun. /eyeroll) and Isis has started nudging Krew's hand while I'm feeding him. Both Isis and Link have been caught sleeping in Krew's office cradle, although neither will go into his crib or his living room cradle (this one moves though, so that might be why).

My due date is tomorrow. I'm so glad that I've had this time with my boy and didn't have to go all the way to Easter in order to meet him. Not to mention how freakin' huge I would've been if I had gone to term.

3 weeks down. So far, so good.

Some Pictures

These pictures were taken at the hospital, and Kevin has more recent ones on his phone, so I'll have to snag them some time. My camera has a tendency to destroy USB ports when it's uploading pictures (don't ask me why) so hopefully I can figure it out so I can upload more in the future.

I never did master the swaddle.

Kevin showing me how it's done (...and Krew totally looks like an alien...).

A little one-on-one with daddy.

:)

Love at First Sight?

I did not fall instantly in love with my son the second I set eyes on him.

Krew was, for all intents and purposes, a stranger to me, and I was uncomfortable handling him despite having carried him for his whole life. The night he was born I was shaky from labour and could not hold him for more than a few minutes. Kevin, however, demonstrated his paternal nature from the start: He learned how to diaper, feed, and handle Krew while I was being sewn up. He also stepped up that first night by getting up to feed Krew at a time when I felt incapable of even picking him up without help.

Watching Kevin with our son made my heart ache; especially considering how ambivalent I was feeling at the time. When the next feeding rolled around, I gave it a try. The sleep had restored some of my energy, and my IV was disconnected so I didn't have to worry about tangled tubes. Picking him up for the first time scared me. He was trusting me to care for him and take care of his needs, regardless of whether or not I was physically or emotionally able. His vulnerability and faith terrified me, but it was also encouraging.

He taught me to love him with each interaction, and he continues to do so still. The way he watches me while I feed him makes me feel like he knows who I am and that it's ok if it took me entirely too long to get his bottle ready. Or that he wanted his diaper changed or that he just wanted to cuddle for a while. I know he recognizes my voice already, and I feel incredibly priviledged to know how to soothe him when he is outraged. He makes me feel like everything is going to be all right when he burrows his head into my neck or falls asleep on my chest.

I did not fall instantly in love with my son the second I set eyes on him, but the love that I feel for him now is more fierce than I had ever expected for only having known him for a few days. I guess I just had to get to know him first.

Krew Thomas Anthony Broderick

WARNING: This is going to be a long post, and maybe a little TMI.

The Build-Up:
I had it all planned out: The perfect April Fools Day prank. I was going to post a picture of myself in the hospital (from when Kevin injured his ankle and we spent hours in the hospital waiting for an x-ray) and update my Facebook status to "Cristina is hanging out in the hospital." Instead, I was on the receiving end of that joke.

Around midnight on March 31st (the beginning of that day, not the end), I noticed some sort of fluid on my underwear. Having had my membranes swept a couple days earlier, I got a little excited, but decided to just keep an eye on it (and put on a pad, just in case). Around 3 a.m. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I laid back down again, felt a trickle. I mentioned it to Kevin, so we decided that we would go to the maternity ward in the morning. After we got up, we grabbed the bags (which were finally packed), fiddled around with the carseat, and off we went!

By the time we made it to the hospital, I started to have second thoughts about whether or not my water had broken, but decided that it couldn't hurt to get it checked out. While walking to the maternity ward, I felt more water. And more again. By the time we got there, I felt like I was gushing. I was immediately sent to the Assessment Room where I was hooked up to a fetal monitor (which is also used to monitor contractions) and it was noted that my contractions were 5 minutes apart! However, since the contractions were merely uncomfortable, I was sent home and told to come back later that night, or earlier if the contractions strengthened.

I ended up coming back later that evening and I was hooked up to an IV pole with a bag of oxytocin to help induce labour. With my membranes ruptured, there was now a chance of infection so it was necessary to get this show on the road. At 2 a.m. on April 1st, I had maxed out my dosage of oxytocin and it was decided that they would try again in the morning. Around 7 a.m., I was hooked back up again, with the same luck. Out of sympathy, the nurses sent me home for a few hours in the evening of April 1st to hang out before my next round of antibiotics. When I came back, I was reattached to my new best friend and around 7:30 a.m. on April 2nd, I started my third round of oxytocin.

[Side note: After the second dose of oxytocin Dr. Cosio consulted with the OB specialist to determine the next step, and he recommended another try of oxytocin. By this point I was incredibly bored and was convinced that another round was just a waste of everyone's time. Plus I wanted to meet my baby.]

A friend of mine stopped by to say hi while I was wasting time and had suggested (or demanded, really) that we go for a walk around the ward. Kevin had stepped out for a while, but as we were walking we ran into him and stopped to chat. At that point I had felt a hard kick or jolt in my abdomen, but I didn't think anything of it until my contractions started picking up after the second round of walking. We went back to the room and I informed my nurse that I was finally starting to feel something. When it got to the point that I could no longer speak during the contractions, my friend left and the nurse started to get excited.

Labour & Delivery:
Labour was...interesting. I hadn't given it much thought the entire time I was in the hospital because I was convinced that it wasn't going to happen. However, once it started, I just wanted to find a way to deal with the pain. And that way involved doing a plie while standing with my elbows on the bed. I would breathe in and bend my knees, then exhale to a stand. I found the repetition soothing, but it gradually became unbearable and I felt like crying. At which point I remembered the gas!

The gas is awesome, by the way: It makes you feel drunk. Once I started the gas, I immediately felt a little light-headed and needed to lie down in order to not fall over. (I don't remember how far dilated I was when I started the gas, but the entire time I was being induced, I was only ever 2 cms dilated and my cervix had moved posterior.)

The contractions started becoming even more unbearable, and my body would lean to the right (on to my side) during the worst part. The nurse told me that if I felt like pushing, to just blow out so it would vibrate my lips; I told the nurse that I thought that they just got a kick out of watching the women doing it. I tried really hard not to push, and told my body to "stop pushing" whenever I started (the nurse who happened to have her hand on my stomach at the time apologized, so I had to let her know I was talking to myself). By this point I asked the nurse what the next step of pain relief was and how I could get it. She told me it was morphine, but that I was too late by that point.

Pushing hurt, but not pushing was even worse. Apparently I was pushing for 2 hours, but it doesn't seem like it took that long (my arms disagree). I found that when it came to pushing, my body completely took over. The doctor wanted 3 long consecutive pushes but I found that I had to give 3 long ones and 1 or 2 short ones in order to stop pushing. If I didn't max it out, my body would start shaking and I couldn't relax between contractions.

I tried various pushing positions, but I honestly think the most effective one was sitting on the toilet. I never thought I would have ended up straddling that thing while in labour, but there I was. And the cool pipes felt amazing on my forehead. Once the "ring of fire" (crowning?) stage was hit, I was back on the bed where I got to hear things like, "I can see the head," "look at all that hair," and "his hand is by his neck." I guess he got impatient too and decided to claw his own way out. Unfortunately, because his arm had crossed in front of his chest, it caused his shoulders to come out at the same time (instead of one at a time) and I tore. Twice. I didn't feel it though, which is nice.

Birth & Clean-Up:
He was born at 7:20 p.m. on April 2, 2011.

The first thing I asked when he came out was "Is he still a boy?" I think they laughed at me. Actually, I think they laughed at me the entire time since my coping technique was to crack jokes instead of cry or scream. When they held my little boy up for me to see, the only thing I could think of was, "So that's what you look like." They cleaned him up and rested him on my chest for a moment so I could see him. He was fussing, so Kevin started talking to him, and he immediately stopped crying. They took him, and Kevin, to the scale so they could weigh and measure him. He weighed 8 lbs 5 oz and was 21 inches long.

I was exhausted and needed stitches. The thought of having another needle nearly drove me to tears, but luckily I couldn't feel it. The pressure from being sutured hurt and I felt shaky. After I was put back together, Kevin and I were able to enjoy our little boy for the first time as a family. I did hold him, though my arms were so tired that I couldn't hold him for long. We called our parents to inform them of our son's arrival. I took a long, hot, and much needed shower and we were moved to the postpartum rooms.

Krew:
We named our son Krew Thomas Anthony Broderick.

Krew is entirely made up though totally ripped from the band Motley Crue. We were originally going to spell it Krue or Kru, but I decided that people unfamiliar with the name would have difficulty pronouncing it or they may make quick judgments based on his name alone, so we changed it to Krew. Oh, and we spelled it with a "K" because Kevin wanted a name that started with a K.

Thomas is my dad's name, while Anthony is Kevin's dad.

Life as a Family:
Life in the hospital was pretty easy, though entirely boring. All we had to do was hang out with the baby and relax. We didn't have to cook, clean, or do anything except entertain visitors and keep ourselves occupied. I was discharged on Monday morning and was incredibly happy to go home.

Life at home is a lot harder than life in the hospital. First of all, our home wasn't quite ready for the baby yet and the nursery was a mess. And second of all, I didn't expect to be so hyperaware of the baby. At the hospital he was either more settled at night or the room was so big that it dampened his noises. Sleeping in the same room as him is exhausting. He slept in his crib that night and I was standing by it more often than not. We have since moved one of our cradles to the side of my bed so I can soothe him without needing to leave my bed.

Am I sleep deprived? Oh yeah. However, I also have way more energy when I am able to get a couple hours of sleep in a row. I am learning that his noises aren't always a cry of pain/hunger/need, but are sometimes just a cry in the night. I am learning to be a faster diaper changer or else I have to feel the full wrath of Krew. I've also learned that if I cover his torso then I can get away with taking longer.

My Blog Future:
So, right now I have the best of intentions to keep this blog going. I want to use it as a place to log Krew's milestones and gush about his first smile. I want to update it with pictures. From the beginning I've used this blog as a diary of sorts, a place where I can look back and remember my experiences, good or bad. I also know that I'm going to be extremely busy in the future (and have been the past couple days) so that it may be erratic or die off completely.

I would still like to update once a week, but it may be more. Or less. I invite you to remind me to update, since there are times when I decide that too much time has gone by to update everything and give up. This blog post should have been broken into 3 posts, to be honest.

I should also shut up now because this post has gone on long enough and I haven't added pictures yet.

Krew just after he was born

Blogger is being an asshole and won't let me upload any more pictures. So, I'll just upload some in a new post in the future. :)

Week #37 & Doctor Appointment #13

Doctor Appointment:
I ended up seeing Dr. Fredeen today, instead of Dr. Cosio as I had originally assumed. I found out that the kid's back was on my left side, while his little feet were on my right; although, I did already know that. My uterus is still around the same size, so it's hard to say whether or not the baby has dropped just from that. The kid's heartrate is the same as last week as well: 150 bpm.

When asked if I had been informed about doing a membrane sweep, I said yes - and that I would like it done. So, the first one was done on Tuesday! The doctor was fairly surprised to discover that I was already 50% effaced (meaning my cervix had thinned out 50%) and that I was already slightly dilated. I don't know how much, though. I should have asked for a number. He also said that my uterus was as anterior as it was going to be. In his opinion, he doubts that I'll go past my due date. While babies are notorious for picking and choosing their own delivery dates, he was leaning more towards on time, which is what I had been thinking too. Needless to say, I was ecstatic after hearing that bit of news. :)

My Opinion:
I still need to:

1. Wash K's stuff.
2. Wash bedding for spare bed in nursery. 
3. Pack a bag for K, myself, and Kevin.
4. Make sure the car seat fits.
5. Pre-register at hospital.
6. Finish the nursery: put up blinds, curtains, and storage hangers.
7. Organize K's drawers and closet.
8. Other stuff that I haven't thought of yet.

I put my nesting to good use over this past weekend and did some serious damage to my coursework - I even managed to write my midterm, so now I only have half of my program left. The midterm showed me that while my notes are good, they aren't as organized as I would like them to be, so I may have to do some rearranging.

I finally made it to Walmart to search for some compression socks; however, I didn't find them. Instead, I found some knee-high tights that are supposed to do the same thing. They're ok, but I still have to wear shoes. With laced-up laces to prevent the fluids from pooling in my feet. Lame.
I find that I've been waking 2-3 times during the night to go to the bathroom, which sucks, but I know that it isn't as often as some women (haha). I also find that everytime the kid kicks or moves especially hard that I'm wondering if it was a contraction. I've read/heard that I'll "know" that it's a contraction when I feel one; however, until that time comes, I'm going to be curious.

It's really odd to think of my due date in terms of being in X number of days or weeks now, instead of months. And even odder to add, "but it may be sooner."

I'm fairly certain that I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions off and on since Monday. What do they feel like? Well, you know how your stomach muscles feel after doing situps or sucking in your stomach or throwing up? Sort of fatigued, but you don't notice it until later that night? That's how they feel. I don't feel the actual contraction itself, but I feel the aftereffects - the muscles that are tired from working. I feel like the kid has been super active lately too, which is weird since I thought they were supposed to slow down more once I got this far, but I guess he's the exception.

Development:
This week the kid should weigh around 2.859 kg (6.3 lbs) and be about 48.6 cm (19.13 inches) long. My uterus should now be about 16-17 cm above my belly button and 37 cm above my pubic bone. And my weight gain should be about 25-35 lbs (yeah, right).

This week he's building up his strength and should even turn turn towards the light when he's exposed to one. His bones aren't completely ossified yet, which is good for flexibility during labour, and his growth should actually start to slow down now.

I can't wait for this to be over.